Define.

November 30^th 2009

 

So I read the book Dear John by Nicholas sparks the other night. In one sitting yes. And It was a tad depressing… but it made me think about the different types of love…well two types to be exact.

 

1. The always forgiving, I-just-want-you-to-be-happy-no-matter-what-pain-it-causes-me love. “I’ll do what is right for you, not us, just you, even if it means giving you up” love. Protective, loyal, unrelenting, settling, I’m at home, reliable, content type of love. The “I’ll always love you until the day I die,” love.

 

2. Then, there’s the other type—the passionate, raw, emotional love. Whirlwind, I’ll –die-without-you-in-my-life type of love, “I need you to breath,” “I can’t live without you,” “I don’t want to even think about living without you,” obsessive, can’t-stop-thinking-about-you-no-matter-what, everything reminds me of you, breath taking, earth shaking, butterflies in stomach, pure, real, deep, love.

 

The thing is, in the book the love that ended up ‘winning’ was the first type…and to me it was confusing…Why didn’t the other type work…Did she just settle for something reliable, because she couldn’t stand the pain of waiting for the second to come around again?? Obviously the second type still existed [between her and John,] but she chose another man & they had the first type…WHY!? How often does that raw passionate type of love even come around, so when it does, shouldn’t you hold onto it for all you are worth? Or is that too much to ask when happiness with the other type is within your grasp… Can you possibly have both types of love with a person? I’d like to think so, but I have a feeling it’s rare.

 

Then I started thinking—well which one do I want? Am I willing to wait for the second type of love, but risk missing out on a perfectly happy life with the first? Or am I willing to settle, but risk missing out on raw emotional passionate take my breath away love? AH!

 

I know I want that butterfly-on-top-of-the-world-I’m-invincible feeling but doesn’t everyone? On the other hand, its nice to have the plain simple happy love, the one you know will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what…

 

Or maybe I’m wrong all together for trying to define and compact love into these terms and guidelines (of sorts). Just adds to the ever confusing journey… We all want love and someone to share our best moments with, who will comfort us at our worst, who we can do the same for…